WALT - write an argument using persuasive language features to convince people to visit the Bay of Plenty.
Success Criteria My writing contains an introduction, 3 key arguments and a conclusion I will state and restate my opinion I use a range of language resources and punctuation My paragraphs follow the S E E structure
Do you want to have the best time of your life? then if you do come to the Bay Of Plenty
I think that everyone should come to the Bay Of plenty because we we have the Rotorua mud pools and Te Puia where the geysers are. Te Puia has all the information about New Zealand and it has our native bird the kiwi. Te Puia also has the geysers and the mud pools, the mud pools are boiling hot pools that are filled with mud. Te Puia have also got a real marae that has powhiris and everything that a marae needs. And when your at Te Puia you can watch all the people make the carvings. There is also a nature walk to the mud pools. If you have never seen a waka then this is the place you want to be because they have there very own.
Secondly we have the Bay park stadium where we play rugby. Bay Park stadium is the Bay Of Plenty Steamers home ground so they can play different parts at home. We also have a speedway track so we can have the stock car races and super saloons and all those race cars. And on the last show of the year they also let of fireworks at the end and they turn of all the lights so you can see absolutely everything. But there was once a marching parade there so that might happen again.
Finally there is Gameon a place where you can do blokarting and Laser tag and clay bird shooting. Laser tag is where you have a band strapped to your head and a big gun to shoot people with but its not real bullets but with laser. Blokarting is where you go in a blokart and you can race against people or just have fun races. And now we have the clay bird shooting, clay bird shooting is where you stand from a certain distance away and you try and shoot clay birds So thats why everybody needs to come to the Bay Of Plenty because you can go to Te Puia and find out about New Zealand and watch how people do carving and see a real life waka. And you can also go to the Bay Park Stadium and watch the Bay Of Plenty in action or see the stock cars and super saloons race around the track. And last but not least you can go to Gameon and lay Laser Tag Clay Bird Shooting and Blokarting. So thats why everyone needs to come to the Bay Of Plenty.
In Conclusion everyone needs to come to the Bay of Plenty because we have the Rotorua mud pools and Te Puia, Bay park Stadium, Gameon and the have the best beaches in the world the surf is good for beginners and for intermediate and for the top surfers.
Excellent detail in your paragraphs Levi. Great to see you using paragraphs and linking them together, well done. I would have liked you to include more convincing reasons for coming to the BOP other than just focusing on the attractions though and use stronger imperatives. Excellent use of a rhetorical question at the beginning. You seem to have repeated yourself in your conclusion - make sure you re-read your work when editing! You must remember to state your three reasons in your introduction also. Overall a great effort and you are making a lot of progress with your writing. Well done Miss Crone :)
WALT - write an argument using persuasive language features to convince people to visit the Bay of Plenty.
Success Criteria
My writing contains an introduction, 3 key arguments and a conclusion
I will state and restate my opinion
I use a range of language resources and punctuation
My paragraphs follow the S E E structure
Do you want to have the best time of your life? then if you do come to the Bay Of Plenty
I think that everyone should come to the Bay Of plenty because we we have the Rotorua mud pools and Te Puia where the geysers are. Te Puia has all the information about New Zealand and it has our native bird the kiwi. Te Puia also has the geysers and the mud pools, the mud pools are boiling hot pools that are filled with mud. Te Puia have also got a real marae that has powhiris and everything that a marae needs. And when your at Te Puia you can watch all the people make the carvings. There is also a nature walk to the mud pools. If you have never seen a waka then this is the place you want to be because they have there very own.
Secondly we have the Bay park stadium where we play rugby. Bay Park stadium is the Bay Of Plenty Steamers home ground so they can play different parts at home. We also have a speedway track so we can have the stock car races and super saloons and all those race cars. And on the last show of the year they also let of fireworks at the end and they turn of all the lights so you can see absolutely everything. But there was once a marching parade there so that might happen again.
Finally there is Gameon a place where you can do blokarting and Laser tag and clay bird shooting. Laser tag is where you have a band strapped to your head and a big gun to shoot people with but its not real bullets but with laser. Blokarting is where you go in a blokart and you can race against people or just have fun races. And now we have the clay bird shooting, clay bird shooting is where you stand from a certain distance away and you try and shoot clay birds
So thats why everybody needs to come to the Bay Of Plenty because you can go to Te Puia and find out about New Zealand and watch how people do carving and see a real life waka. And you can also go to the Bay Park Stadium and watch the Bay Of Plenty in action or see the stock cars and super saloons race around the track. And last but not least you can go to Gameon and lay Laser Tag Clay Bird Shooting and Blokarting. So thats why everyone needs to come to the Bay Of Plenty.
In Conclusion everyone needs to come to the Bay of Plenty because we have the Rotorua mud pools and Te Puia, Bay park Stadium, Gameon and the have the best beaches in the world the surf is good for beginners and for intermediate and for the top surfers.
Excellent detail in your paragraphs Levi. Great to see you using paragraphs and linking them together, well done. I would have liked you to include more convincing reasons for coming to the BOP other than just focusing on the attractions though and use stronger imperatives. Excellent use of a rhetorical question at the beginning. You seem to have repeated yourself in your conclusion - make sure you re-read your work when editing! You must remember to state your three reasons in your introduction also. Overall a great effort and you are making a lot of progress with your writing. Well done
Miss Crone :)